We get asked all the time, "So when are you having kids"
The canned response is...we're trying and then we get the proverbial "oh" and a look of pity from the person asking.
Here are the top ten things I wish I could say to those people, as I am tiring of my standard response.
10. Oh, we want to but, I'm allergic to child dander.
9. Kids are just aliens sent to us from outer space, and i don't believe in illegal immigration.
8. I accidentally shot the stork, he looked like a pheasant to me
7. We are waiting until human cloning is legal, the world definitely needs more Jay's
6. My penis fell off
5. We are waiting until we get a little older, we are hoping to have that awkward moment where one of our kids friends ask us, "oh are you Jay Jr's Grandparents?"
4. I'm a liberal
3. Well since you ask, We are both gay, but we wanted to be the first legal gay marriage.
2. We have spirit children
1. Oh we just had a little girl, we named her Nunya.....Nunya Damn Business
Keep your dumb questions to yourself...Next time I get asked by a ditzy member of the relief society I'm gonna say...."Oh you're glowing, when are you due?"
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
RE:Repealing Gravity
Pete Davis and I have know each other for better than 20 years, I won't spend much time introducing him as does it very well himself later in this post. Pete sent me a point by point response to my earlier post. I thought he had some interesting points and information and I thought I would share it with any of who might be interested. One thing I will say to kick this off is that Pete is one of the friends that I refer to when I say, "I have gay friends". Pets is a great guy, he does great work, and when he has something to say I typically pay attention.
So with out further adieu here's Pete.......................
Hi Jay, You said a lot here so I am going to address it bit by bit. . .
Mormons don't hate gay people, just in case you were wondering. If you wanna talk about being privy to being hated, there have been a few Mormons who have been hated, beaten, and murdered. So in essence Mormons understand the hatred gays face. For some reason, and I don't know why, I haven't seen anyone just say what we are all thinking, since I am famous for that, here it goes.
I don’t think Mormons hate gays at all. I think the religion disagrees with gay folks, but you say that yourself later on. I do not at all deny the bloody history of the Mormon church. Without a doubt you folks have endured a lot of hate that still continues today.
Ok gays here's the scoop, we don't hate you, we don't hate at all, we just disagree with you. In our view homosexuality is a sin, but no different of a sin than fornication, adultery, or even drugs or alcohol or salacious gossip. I have sinned, many times, and will continue to do so as I don't expect perfection here in this life. Now here is where I can try to convince you that you can over come any sin through the power of Christ, but that's not want I want to say today.
I understand that you view same sex relationships as a sin because of your religious persuasion. Love the sinner hate the sin. I think that a lot of Mormons have this attitude (if I am wrong please correct me). I understand about overcoming sin through the power of Christ yadda, yadda, yadda.
Whether or not Gay marriage will destroy the fabric of the traditional family remains to be seen. Personally I don't believe any power on earth or heaven can do that, but everyone has their opinion. Here is why we don't want to see homosexuality become a normalcy. It scares the crap out off us, how do we explain that to our children, we don't want our kids seeing it as a normal thing because we don't want our kids doing it. It is pretty basic, for the same reason I don't want my son or daughter to drink, do drugs, or have sex before marriage. I hope to keep my kids as sin free as I can. But at the same time I recognize they will commit sin, if not one, but all of those I mentioned. I won't hate them for that, hopefully I can be supportive and help them to be stronger, but I could never stop loving them.
I can understand the fact that gay people scare you. Chances are (taking a guess here so I could be totally wrong), a lot of your views about homosexuality comes from clips of gay pride parades or radical queers in chaps and leather vests. Without a doubt people like this are part of the gay community. However, to judge gay folks from what you see on gay pride clips or in movies is only a caricature of the community. It would be like me judging straight people from Mardi Gras clips. I invite you to come and visit my husband and me any time. I promise you that what you will find is a pretty boring household. We hardly ever drink (maybe one beer every 4 months IF we are lucky). We actually watch a lot of TV, hang out with family members and work (I am a child therapist and he is a software engineer).
We are going through the adoption process to adopt a special needs kiddo from foster care. Most likely the kid will have been abused (probably sexually and physically), have multiple trauma and is almost unadoptable in the eyes of the state system. These kids will grow up in a stable household with two men and tons of extended family and friends that are like family (and of course tons of love). Our kid will be in classes with kids from all types of families (including families like yours). Inevitably our kid will interact with others and they will find out that he has two dads.
If he were to interact with your kids, how would you handle that interaction?
So I guess I should say, its not you, its us, but I'm not an apologetic I agree with the leaders of the church. I'm supportive of banning gay marriage, for the reasons noted above. But to tell me I hate, as a result of my position, well I can say the same of you. You are in opposition to my beliefs and of my lifestyle so you must hate me right? I know better, folks try to use that word hate to try and vilanize the stance of their opposition.
I understand you want to ban gay marriage. I disagree with it. I think it is bigoted, but I don’t think you are bigoted. Our thoughts are only a small part of who we are (I think some of the thoughts that I have are bigoted, so don’t take it personally). We have known each other for a long while and I know you are a kind person with a good soul. Throughout our lives I am sure we will disagree on a plethora of issues. We will be passionate, we will be angry, but that’s okay, because that is how life is.
Recently in LDS general conference, Boyd K Packer said in reference to the legalization of gay marriage, "Do you think a vote to repeal the law of gravity would do any good?". That's a good question, homosexuality is contrary to nature, it's fairly clear, we are the only species on planet earth that engages in it. But tell me, why is that a hateful statement? Elder Packer is reaffirming our belief system. Are Mormons out side of their inalienable rights to believe that homosexuality is a sin? I wonder why gays and other special interest groups aren't coming to the defense of those who drink alcohol or smoke cigarettes or shop on Sunday, claiming we oppress them as a result of our effort to maintain the type of society we feel is appropriate. You have the right to be gay, I have the right to be Mormon, it is why America rocks.
Does the Mormon church oppress? Yes. Do all churches or institutions of power in some way oppress? Yes. You are totally within your rights to disagree with gay marriage. I am totally within my rights to be against you. However, it is important to realize that with any opinion comes responsibility and consequences. If the Mormon church disagrees with homosexuality and because of that a young man is excommunicated and then commits suicide because he feels ostracized from the church, the church or the people in the church closest to that person need to recognize that their beliefs played a part in that suicide. It is a lot to handle, but with strong beliefs also come the consequences of those beliefs (both good and bad). I am not sure where you get the idea that homosexuality doesn’t exist in the animal kingdom. There have been thousands of documented cases of homosexuality among animals.
If this gets you angry then you are human, and we have something in common, I would ask the gay community, have you ever stepped back and looked at it from our point of view? Your mad that we say it's a sin because it makes you feel bad, I get it, no one wants to have their life style demonized by others. But have you have been called a devil worshiper? Have you ever had someone sick a dog on you, I know there are gays that experience that, but guess what so do we. Ya go be a Mormon missionary and you'll experience real hatred. And all I was trying to do is help people live cleaner lives, with out immorality, drugs and alcohol. Is that a bad thing? Do you hate me for that?
I have definitely looked through things from your perspective. I am fine with you saying it is a sin. It really doesn’t make me feel bad. You folks can disagree with how I live my life all you want. You can protest and fight against gay marriage and I will fight for it. I make it a point to attack beliefs and not people. I can call your ideas archaic and bigoted and yet still like you. Just as you hold me responsible for my actions and beliefs, I will hold you responsible for yours. I will most likely be extreme, loud and militant and you are more than welcomed to do that too. That is what makes America wonderful.
Pot here's your kettle, guess what its black~
BTW: Mormons are just one major religion that fervently opposes gay marriage, interesting how we take most of the heat. Any reason the gays aren't coming after the Catholics, Evangelical, or Baptists? Just curious
Like I said, with all morals comes taking responsibility for those morals. You have a good question, why are we going after the Mormon church? Truthfully, I would guess it is because it is partly luck of the draw and partly because someone found out that the Mormon church had a strong campaign going against prop 8.
BTW2: One last thought then I'm done I promise, in the Prop 8 vote, didn't 83% of African Americans vote against gay marriage? So why are you letting them of the hook? Or is it just cooler to bash the Mormons, and slightly dangerous to bash African Americans. I'm just sayin
Truthfully, I think we are going after the Mormons because of all the money that the church member put in against Prop 8. Maybe we will go after the African Americans next. Who knows?
So with out further adieu here's Pete.......................
Hi Jay, You said a lot here so I am going to address it bit by bit. . .
Mormons don't hate gay people, just in case you were wondering. If you wanna talk about being privy to being hated, there have been a few Mormons who have been hated, beaten, and murdered. So in essence Mormons understand the hatred gays face. For some reason, and I don't know why, I haven't seen anyone just say what we are all thinking, since I am famous for that, here it goes.
I don’t think Mormons hate gays at all. I think the religion disagrees with gay folks, but you say that yourself later on. I do not at all deny the bloody history of the Mormon church. Without a doubt you folks have endured a lot of hate that still continues today.
Ok gays here's the scoop, we don't hate you, we don't hate at all, we just disagree with you. In our view homosexuality is a sin, but no different of a sin than fornication, adultery, or even drugs or alcohol or salacious gossip. I have sinned, many times, and will continue to do so as I don't expect perfection here in this life. Now here is where I can try to convince you that you can over come any sin through the power of Christ, but that's not want I want to say today.
I understand that you view same sex relationships as a sin because of your religious persuasion. Love the sinner hate the sin. I think that a lot of Mormons have this attitude (if I am wrong please correct me). I understand about overcoming sin through the power of Christ yadda, yadda, yadda.
Whether or not Gay marriage will destroy the fabric of the traditional family remains to be seen. Personally I don't believe any power on earth or heaven can do that, but everyone has their opinion. Here is why we don't want to see homosexuality become a normalcy. It scares the crap out off us, how do we explain that to our children, we don't want our kids seeing it as a normal thing because we don't want our kids doing it. It is pretty basic, for the same reason I don't want my son or daughter to drink, do drugs, or have sex before marriage. I hope to keep my kids as sin free as I can. But at the same time I recognize they will commit sin, if not one, but all of those I mentioned. I won't hate them for that, hopefully I can be supportive and help them to be stronger, but I could never stop loving them.
I can understand the fact that gay people scare you. Chances are (taking a guess here so I could be totally wrong), a lot of your views about homosexuality comes from clips of gay pride parades or radical queers in chaps and leather vests. Without a doubt people like this are part of the gay community. However, to judge gay folks from what you see on gay pride clips or in movies is only a caricature of the community. It would be like me judging straight people from Mardi Gras clips. I invite you to come and visit my husband and me any time. I promise you that what you will find is a pretty boring household. We hardly ever drink (maybe one beer every 4 months IF we are lucky). We actually watch a lot of TV, hang out with family members and work (I am a child therapist and he is a software engineer).
We are going through the adoption process to adopt a special needs kiddo from foster care. Most likely the kid will have been abused (probably sexually and physically), have multiple trauma and is almost unadoptable in the eyes of the state system. These kids will grow up in a stable household with two men and tons of extended family and friends that are like family (and of course tons of love). Our kid will be in classes with kids from all types of families (including families like yours). Inevitably our kid will interact with others and they will find out that he has two dads.
If he were to interact with your kids, how would you handle that interaction?
So I guess I should say, its not you, its us, but I'm not an apologetic I agree with the leaders of the church. I'm supportive of banning gay marriage, for the reasons noted above. But to tell me I hate, as a result of my position, well I can say the same of you. You are in opposition to my beliefs and of my lifestyle so you must hate me right? I know better, folks try to use that word hate to try and vilanize the stance of their opposition.
I understand you want to ban gay marriage. I disagree with it. I think it is bigoted, but I don’t think you are bigoted. Our thoughts are only a small part of who we are (I think some of the thoughts that I have are bigoted, so don’t take it personally). We have known each other for a long while and I know you are a kind person with a good soul. Throughout our lives I am sure we will disagree on a plethora of issues. We will be passionate, we will be angry, but that’s okay, because that is how life is.
Recently in LDS general conference, Boyd K Packer said in reference to the legalization of gay marriage, "Do you think a vote to repeal the law of gravity would do any good?". That's a good question, homosexuality is contrary to nature, it's fairly clear, we are the only species on planet earth that engages in it. But tell me, why is that a hateful statement? Elder Packer is reaffirming our belief system. Are Mormons out side of their inalienable rights to believe that homosexuality is a sin? I wonder why gays and other special interest groups aren't coming to the defense of those who drink alcohol or smoke cigarettes or shop on Sunday, claiming we oppress them as a result of our effort to maintain the type of society we feel is appropriate. You have the right to be gay, I have the right to be Mormon, it is why America rocks.
Does the Mormon church oppress? Yes. Do all churches or institutions of power in some way oppress? Yes. You are totally within your rights to disagree with gay marriage. I am totally within my rights to be against you. However, it is important to realize that with any opinion comes responsibility and consequences. If the Mormon church disagrees with homosexuality and because of that a young man is excommunicated and then commits suicide because he feels ostracized from the church, the church or the people in the church closest to that person need to recognize that their beliefs played a part in that suicide. It is a lot to handle, but with strong beliefs also come the consequences of those beliefs (both good and bad). I am not sure where you get the idea that homosexuality doesn’t exist in the animal kingdom. There have been thousands of documented cases of homosexuality among animals.
If this gets you angry then you are human, and we have something in common, I would ask the gay community, have you ever stepped back and looked at it from our point of view? Your mad that we say it's a sin because it makes you feel bad, I get it, no one wants to have their life style demonized by others. But have you have been called a devil worshiper? Have you ever had someone sick a dog on you, I know there are gays that experience that, but guess what so do we. Ya go be a Mormon missionary and you'll experience real hatred. And all I was trying to do is help people live cleaner lives, with out immorality, drugs and alcohol. Is that a bad thing? Do you hate me for that?
I have definitely looked through things from your perspective. I am fine with you saying it is a sin. It really doesn’t make me feel bad. You folks can disagree with how I live my life all you want. You can protest and fight against gay marriage and I will fight for it. I make it a point to attack beliefs and not people. I can call your ideas archaic and bigoted and yet still like you. Just as you hold me responsible for my actions and beliefs, I will hold you responsible for yours. I will most likely be extreme, loud and militant and you are more than welcomed to do that too. That is what makes America wonderful.
Pot here's your kettle, guess what its black~
BTW: Mormons are just one major religion that fervently opposes gay marriage, interesting how we take most of the heat. Any reason the gays aren't coming after the Catholics, Evangelical, or Baptists? Just curious
Like I said, with all morals comes taking responsibility for those morals. You have a good question, why are we going after the Mormon church? Truthfully, I would guess it is because it is partly luck of the draw and partly because someone found out that the Mormon church had a strong campaign going against prop 8.
BTW2: One last thought then I'm done I promise, in the Prop 8 vote, didn't 83% of African Americans vote against gay marriage? So why are you letting them of the hook? Or is it just cooler to bash the Mormons, and slightly dangerous to bash African Americans. I'm just sayin
Truthfully, I think we are going after the Mormons because of all the money that the church member put in against Prop 8. Maybe we will go after the African Americans next. Who knows?
Monday, October 4, 2010
Repealing Gravity
Mormons don't hate gay people, just in case you were wondering. If you wanna talk about being privy to being hated, there have been a few Mormons who have been hated, beaten, and murdered. So in essence Mormons understand the hatred gays face. For some reason, and I don't know why, I haven't seen anyone just say what we are all thinking, since I am famous for that, here it goes.
Ok gays here's the scoop, we don't hate you, we don't hate at all, we just disagree with you. In our view homosexuality is a sin, but no different of a sin than fornication, adultery, or even drugs or alcohol or salacious gossip. I have sinned, many times, and will continue to do so as I don't expect perfection here in this life. Now here is where I can try to convince you that you can over come any sin through the power of Christ, but that's not want I want to say today.
Whether or not Gay marriage will destroy the fabric of the traditional family remains to be seen. Personally I don't believe any power on earth or heaven can do that, but everyone has their opinion. Here is why we don't want to see homosexuality become a normalcy. It scares the crap out off us, how do we explain that to our children, we don't want our kids seeing it as a normal thing because we don't want our kids doing it. It is pretty basic, for the same reason I don't want my son or daughter to drink, do drugs, or have sex before marriage. I hope to keep my kids as sin free as I can. But at the same time I recognize they will commit sin, if not one, but all of those I mentioned. I won't hate them for that, hopefully I can be supportive and help them to be stronger, but I could never stop loving them.
So I guess I should say, its not you, its us, but I'm not an apologetic I agree with the leaders of the church. I'm supportive of banning gay marriage, for the reasons noted above. But to tell me I hate, as a result of my position, well I can say the same of you. You are in opposition to my beliefs and of my lifestyle so you must hate me right? I know better, folks try to use that word hate to try and vilanize the stance of their opposition.
Recently in LDS general conference, Boyd K Packer said in reference to the legalization of gay marriage, "Do you think a vote to repeal the law of gravity would do any good?". That's a good question, homosexuality is contrary to nature, it's fairly clear, we are the only species on planet earth that engages in it. But tell me, why is that a hateful statement? Elder Packer is reaffirming our belief system. Are Mormons out side of their inalienable rights to believe that homosexuality is a sin? I wonder why gays and other special interest groups aren't coming to the defense of those who drink alcohol or smoke cigarettes or shop on Sunday, claiming we oppress them as a result of our effort to maintain the type of society we feel is appropriate. You have the right to be gay, I have the right to be Mormon, it is why America rocks.
If this gets you angry then you are human, and we have something in common, I would ask the gay community, have you ever stepped back and looked at it from our point of view? Your mad that we say it's a sin because it makes you feel bad, I get it, no one wants to have their life style demonized by others. But have you have been called a devil worshiper? Have you ever had someone sick a dog on you, I know there are gays that experience that, but guess what so do we. Ya go be a Mormon missionary and you'll experience real hatred. And all I was trying to do is help people live cleaner lives, with out immorality, drugs and alcohol. Is that a bad thing? Do you hate me for that?
Pot here's your kettle, guess what its black~
BTW: Mormons are just one major religion that fervently opposes gay marriage, interesting how we take most of the heat. Any reason the gays aren't coming after the Catholics, Evangelical, or Baptists? Just curious
BTW2: One last thought then I'm done I promise, in the Prop 8 vote, didn't 83% of African Americans vote against gay marriage? So why are you letting them of the hook? Or is it just cooler to bash the Mormons, and slightly dangerous to bash African Americans. I'm just sayin
Ok gays here's the scoop, we don't hate you, we don't hate at all, we just disagree with you. In our view homosexuality is a sin, but no different of a sin than fornication, adultery, or even drugs or alcohol or salacious gossip. I have sinned, many times, and will continue to do so as I don't expect perfection here in this life. Now here is where I can try to convince you that you can over come any sin through the power of Christ, but that's not want I want to say today.
Whether or not Gay marriage will destroy the fabric of the traditional family remains to be seen. Personally I don't believe any power on earth or heaven can do that, but everyone has their opinion. Here is why we don't want to see homosexuality become a normalcy. It scares the crap out off us, how do we explain that to our children, we don't want our kids seeing it as a normal thing because we don't want our kids doing it. It is pretty basic, for the same reason I don't want my son or daughter to drink, do drugs, or have sex before marriage. I hope to keep my kids as sin free as I can. But at the same time I recognize they will commit sin, if not one, but all of those I mentioned. I won't hate them for that, hopefully I can be supportive and help them to be stronger, but I could never stop loving them.
So I guess I should say, its not you, its us, but I'm not an apologetic I agree with the leaders of the church. I'm supportive of banning gay marriage, for the reasons noted above. But to tell me I hate, as a result of my position, well I can say the same of you. You are in opposition to my beliefs and of my lifestyle so you must hate me right? I know better, folks try to use that word hate to try and vilanize the stance of their opposition.
Recently in LDS general conference, Boyd K Packer said in reference to the legalization of gay marriage, "Do you think a vote to repeal the law of gravity would do any good?". That's a good question, homosexuality is contrary to nature, it's fairly clear, we are the only species on planet earth that engages in it. But tell me, why is that a hateful statement? Elder Packer is reaffirming our belief system. Are Mormons out side of their inalienable rights to believe that homosexuality is a sin? I wonder why gays and other special interest groups aren't coming to the defense of those who drink alcohol or smoke cigarettes or shop on Sunday, claiming we oppress them as a result of our effort to maintain the type of society we feel is appropriate. You have the right to be gay, I have the right to be Mormon, it is why America rocks.
If this gets you angry then you are human, and we have something in common, I would ask the gay community, have you ever stepped back and looked at it from our point of view? Your mad that we say it's a sin because it makes you feel bad, I get it, no one wants to have their life style demonized by others. But have you have been called a devil worshiper? Have you ever had someone sick a dog on you, I know there are gays that experience that, but guess what so do we. Ya go be a Mormon missionary and you'll experience real hatred. And all I was trying to do is help people live cleaner lives, with out immorality, drugs and alcohol. Is that a bad thing? Do you hate me for that?
Pot here's your kettle, guess what its black~
BTW: Mormons are just one major religion that fervently opposes gay marriage, interesting how we take most of the heat. Any reason the gays aren't coming after the Catholics, Evangelical, or Baptists? Just curious
BTW2: One last thought then I'm done I promise, in the Prop 8 vote, didn't 83% of African Americans vote against gay marriage? So why are you letting them of the hook? Or is it just cooler to bash the Mormons, and slightly dangerous to bash African Americans. I'm just sayin
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