Thursday, October 21, 2010

We Don't have Kids.....

We get asked all the time, "So when are you having kids"

The canned response is...we're trying and then we get the proverbial "oh" and a look of pity from the person asking.

Here are the top ten things I wish I could say to those people, as I am tiring of my standard response.

10. Oh, we want to but, I'm allergic to child dander.
9. Kids are just aliens sent to us from outer space, and i don't believe in illegal immigration.
8. I accidentally shot the stork, he looked like a pheasant to me
7. We are waiting until human cloning is legal, the world definitely needs more Jay's
6. My penis fell off
5. We are waiting until we get a little older, we are hoping to have that awkward moment where one of our kids friends ask us, "oh are you Jay Jr's Grandparents?"
4. I'm a liberal
3. Well since you ask, We are both gay, but we wanted to be the first legal gay marriage.
2. We have spirit children
1. Oh we just had a little girl, we named her Nunya.....Nunya Damn Business


Keep your dumb questions to yourself...Next time I get asked by a ditzy member of the relief society I'm gonna say...."Oh you're glowing, when are you due?"

2 comments:

Danica said...

Amen Brotha. Nate and I were married for almost 9 yrs before we had our first kid. We got so sick and tired of that question. I usually said, "Well, I was pregnant, but we just lost it." Watch their face then. haha. Wish I had some of your excuses back then. Good luck Jay.

Santa's #1 Elf said...
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